What the W

The following are random things that were either brought up recently, or unfortunately just occurred.

Famous Last Words

I will preface this by saying that Saturday was incredibly cold. Frigid actually, and I am all for dressing warmly to overcome this cruel and bitter winter. My friends and I were walking back from happy hour, and other than realizing I had probably just consumed two days worth of calories in awesome fries and artichoke dip, I was going over appropriate outfit choices in my head for the coming night. As we walked back to campus, I wondered aloud, “Natalie, would you judge me if I wore flannel tonight,” and some total raving bitch walking the opposite way of me answered “yes.” The whore did not alter her journey in any way, no explanation or apology offered, and I was left in stunned silence and the indignity of the situation. It's a really cute shirt too. If we meet again, I will unfortunately have to kill her to regain my honor. The bitch has to die.

We are the future

If one were to look up porching in the dictionary, it would describe celebrating tolerable weather with heavy drinking on a fraternity porch, synonymous with restraint and decorum. There would also be a picture of some freshman who has fallen off of said porch and dry heaving into the bushes. Anyway, the porching story with the most relevance to this post happened last spring, when my friend and I were greeting someone who had just come from inside of the house. However, instead of sanely hugging him like I had just done, she began to physically tear his shirt off. He proceeded to grab the rest of the fabric on his body, while screaming like the Incredible Hulk. In seconds he was left with nothing but his beater and scraps of what hopefully was an unloved garment. Then he walked away. The thing that disturbs me about this is not the fact that it happened, but that neither my friend nor I thought of it as out of the ordinary and didn’t even talk about it until much later the next day.

How I love morning classes

Because my course load has all the relevance and academic consequence of a feces-slinging monkey, I was lucky enough to take “Sex in Society” as one of my social sciences requirements. Last Friday we were learning about the beautiful and delicate world of BDSM. Our teacher was going over the etiquette in dungeons and what would make for an awkward party situation. She also breached everyone's favorite topic, role playing. She went over the basic and well known dominant and submissive stereo-types. Teacher/student, pirate/wench, doctor/patient, etc etc. Then she threw in Nazi/prisoner. At this point I completely lost it, along with my roommate and Ross. What I want to know is what kind of person gets turned on by the Holocaust. (WTF, “Scream it again, six million more times?”) I’m sure there are people out there playing bomber/Hiroshima victim, soldier/Darfur refugee, and priest/choir boy and hopefully they’re staying in whatever dank basement or corporate cubicle they crawled out of.