Farewell Blogspot.

This is my last blog post here, fare thee well blogspot. Perhaps we shall meet again, but I sincerely doubt it. In the meantime, check out my blog and copywriting portfolio at:

www.sarah-sol.com

Whenever I think of "The Factory Store" child laborers immediately come to mind.

I've officially done it. Through the scholarly trials and tribulations of my hangover paired with arguing with my little brother via his facebook status, I have done the impossible.

It's taken me years, nay lifetimes in the metaphorical sense, but I have achieved what I was put on G-d's green Earth to do.

The official definition for "Living The Dream" is as follows:

Doing whatever the fuck you want with a pretentious attitude and disregard of long term consequences. Pair with a fabulous vocabulary and wardrobe for best results.

I'd like my Peace Prize mailed to me, I would accept it in person but haven't a thing to wear.

This term has been going well thus far, for my print advertising final I'm doing an Emily Post-esque etiquette and style book as a mailer for J Crew Wedding. Needless to say I'm a little excited, but disappointed that it has to be on-brand. Read: minimal sarcasm.

I just checked out the online J Crew Factory Store, and I feel like I was let down. Those bastards threw last seasons clothes on there for a slight discount and put "Factory" at the beginning of each discriminately named piece of clothing. I never understood why they would name it "The Annalise Shawl Collar Cardigan" or some utter nonesense like that. I picture this Annalise to be very thin, blonde, and desperately trying to pop her shawl collar. Yet it's all in vain.

I would love to be the person to name said articles of clothing. I think it would be a great marketing ploy to bluntly name each item. For example, The I got some useless English degree from a well regarded liberal arts school but my tits are what landed me this job cocktail dress or the I may be a horrible person but at least I'm not wearing jorts seersucker trousers and finally the I'm making up for my ridiculously undersized junk with this conceited attitude blazer.

Unfortunately this is the stuff of what my dreams are made of. Aim high kids.

Uncle Gary: this is an intervention.

I have a sick and twisted beige fetish. I don't understand it either, it's a terribly boring color but it goes extremely well with black and the majority of my wardrobe. (insert terribly trite soul and/or heart joke here)

The color itself exudes a shitload of class. When I think of beige, brands like Burberry or icons like Jackie O. come to mind. No wonder it can even make sluts and the homeless look somewhat sophisticated.

However, with all prior reasoning aside, I was extremely disappointed with GAP's spring 2011 ready to wear collection. There's only so much beige one person can handle before they begin to question their own sanity and go on a seafood and gin binge. (I'm looking at you Uncle Gary)

The only piece that really stood out to me was this white shift dress, which looks like it could have been ripped off the BCBG spring runway show.
What truly blew my mind was Talbots spring collection. I had previously thought that store was purely for the menopausal or those who had forsaken their grandchildren for a horde of belligerent cats all named after British royalty. Apparently the store is doing a complete re-branding and style make-over to try and win over a younger set.

For example, this coral dress is adorable and simply to die for. It even has a high enough neckline so people will acknowledge me by name.
This skirt makes me really happy, and allows me to look forward to the day when I can do yuppie things instead of degenerate college student things. However I feel like not much will change. Maybe my funneling skills will improve.

I can't get over the color of this skirt paired with the belt and the shoes. It makes me want to ride a bike along the Seine with fresh cut flowers, a baguette, and wine in the little bike basket. Needless to say there would be streamers attached to said bike, along with a horn and possibly training wheels. In case you couldn't infer, I haven't touched a bike since single digits.



The shrunken cardigan paired with the contrasting heels and hangover sunglasses is tres chic. I could see myself bumming around West Philly in something like this with flats so I don't look like the Jolly Jew giant. This is the perfect dress. You could be a complete walking train wreck with a Four Loko in each hand and still be forgiven because you look so damn classy. I own a long sleeved version of this but haven't been given an opportunity to wear it. I'm waiting for the day when I truly fuck up and desperately need forgiveness. I'm assuming it will be video-chatting my parents at some point, explaining why I haven't been allowed to graduate with only a few months left to go.

"Tell us why you refused to take your women's studies requirement again?"

"Because I already know how to make a damn sandwich."

G-d bless America.

Even after all my bitching I stil listen to the song.

I don't know how I feel about Rihanna's and Eminem's second installment to Love the Way You Lie. It was in poor taste for Rihanna to agree to the first song after the whole Chris Brown fiasco, but I realize the flashing dollar sign is more of an incentive than fleeting morality. However, to do a second one is fucked up, especially from the subservient and masochistic girlfriends point of view.

One line stuck with me in particular:

but you’ll always be my hero/ even though you’ve lost your mind.

I am in no way, shape, or form a feminist, but didn't he talk about tying you to a bed and setting the house on fire? That's not romantic- that's called settling.

Whether she likes it or not, Rihanna is a twisted role model for some poor schmuck out there in an abusive relationship. And that schmuck is probably making this song her anthem, and latching onto some clandestine excuse as to why she should stay in her fucked up misery. Because now it can be poetically associated with martyrdom thanks to a white rapper and some chick wearing hot pants. A million thank you's.

I wonder if they'll bring back Megan Fox and Domenic Monaghan back for the second video, although I was puzzled as to why she would be taking abuse from a hobbit. She has dealt with far, far worse. (Autobots anyone?)


At least I have Adam Lambert for a role model. If you haven't been so blessed to see the "If I Had You" video you must you tube it right now. It's gay Twilight on speed.