Whenever I think of "The Factory Store" child laborers immediately come to mind.

I've officially done it. Through the scholarly trials and tribulations of my hangover paired with arguing with my little brother via his facebook status, I have done the impossible.

It's taken me years, nay lifetimes in the metaphorical sense, but I have achieved what I was put on G-d's green Earth to do.

The official definition for "Living The Dream" is as follows:

Doing whatever the fuck you want with a pretentious attitude and disregard of long term consequences. Pair with a fabulous vocabulary and wardrobe for best results.

I'd like my Peace Prize mailed to me, I would accept it in person but haven't a thing to wear.

This term has been going well thus far, for my print advertising final I'm doing an Emily Post-esque etiquette and style book as a mailer for J Crew Wedding. Needless to say I'm a little excited, but disappointed that it has to be on-brand. Read: minimal sarcasm.

I just checked out the online J Crew Factory Store, and I feel like I was let down. Those bastards threw last seasons clothes on there for a slight discount and put "Factory" at the beginning of each discriminately named piece of clothing. I never understood why they would name it "The Annalise Shawl Collar Cardigan" or some utter nonesense like that. I picture this Annalise to be very thin, blonde, and desperately trying to pop her shawl collar. Yet it's all in vain.

I would love to be the person to name said articles of clothing. I think it would be a great marketing ploy to bluntly name each item. For example, The I got some useless English degree from a well regarded liberal arts school but my tits are what landed me this job cocktail dress or the I may be a horrible person but at least I'm not wearing jorts seersucker trousers and finally the I'm making up for my ridiculously undersized junk with this conceited attitude blazer.

Unfortunately this is the stuff of what my dreams are made of. Aim high kids.