I want my MTV

Teen Mom returns next week, let there be rejoicing throughout the land.

Since Jackass and Wildboyz became out of trend, MTV has since lost its magic for me but these video-taped high school drop-outs and degenerates are pretty much the only thing that got me through finals week. I vainly sought out alternatives and opportunities to feel better about myself while knee-deep in codes and pantone colors. Questioning my chosen major and coming to the sobering realization that my advertising final was a series of Vera Bradley advertisements geared towards bitter and alcoholic soccer moms was frightening. At the very least I was in my twenties and couldn't boast a C-section scar. Just that inter-sorority knife fight scar.

Granted these girls and their dead beat boyfriends and "fiancees" are the very epitome of white trash (with the exception of Ryan who is extremely attractive white trash) but you figure they should know better. There is no better way to ruin any potential for a career-driven successful life than going into the work force with a mullet and twins.

At the very least the hot mom whose name I can't recall ended up sleeping with the douschebag from Jersey Shore. I think his name was Mike, but imagining the process of googling this is emotionally draining. However I believe MTV deserves golf claps all around for bringing two such beautiful and thoughtful people together. If we're lucky they might perhaps spawn another joyous offspring, bringing this whole charade full circle. G-d bless America.